OT Survey

Sorry about taking over a month off of blogging.
I've been busy. I know, I know, no excuses.

But I love college =] for the most part. I may have my days where I complain and have to switch my bracelet a LOT, but overall it is amazing. Never before have teachers gotten to know you so well, and pray with you, and genuinely care. And the students here don't just become friends, they start to become family. I love it. Love it. =]

Old Testament Survey is my favorite class so far. It is one of the hardest, but it's so cool to learn about the bible. I don't enjoy the lecture part too much yet (maybe cause I am not used to it), but the reading is amazing. It makes think so much.

Lets start with the various views on origins.
-->Evolution. Being a Christian, we must reject this theory, but it simply states that everything started with single-celled organisms. New species have developed over billions of years. Basically God isn't needed in this theory.
-->Theistic Evolution. Brings together the basic components of the theory of evolution with the Creator. Believes that God created life, but used the process of evolution to bring the world as we see it today. Example: Adam's body was an animal that God placed an eternal soul into. Yeah, not going for this view either, unacceptable.
-->Creationism. God created the heavens and the earth out of nothing. No evolutionary process was used. What I believe =]

Okay so here is where I'd love some feedback. Within creationism, there are several viewpoints.
*The Day-Age View. Also known as the Geologic Day View. Generally holds that the days of creation in Genesis 1 were not literally 24 hours days, but long periods of time. Meaning the earth is old.
*The Ruin-Reconstruction View. Gap Theory. There is a large gap between original creation and re-creation. This view believes God created a heaven and earth that were perfect until Satan, sin, entered the universe. God destroyed the original earth leaving it "wasted and void". Time passed and God re-created the heavens and the earth. This view believes the days of Genesis 1 were literal 24 hours days, but of the re-creation, not the original creation.
*The Literal Day View. The days of Genesis 1 were literal 24 hour days of the original creation. This view believes in a young earth, not millions or billions of years old.

Here's the dilemma.
We have carbon dating that proves how old things are. How come it would date back to years where the earth didn't exist. Flaws in carbon dating?

For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy
Exodus 20:11

It will be a sign between me and the Israelites forever, for in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day he abstained from work and rested.
Exodus 31:17

So... tell me what you think!!!!

Taking a mulligan.

Mulligan. Do over. Another shot.

Good thing God gives those out unconditionally. No matter how far apart we've grown from Him, how side-tracked our lives are, basically how selfish and up lifting of ourselves we are - God is ALWAYS there. ALWAYS waiting for our focus to get back on track, to be focused on Him. Even when we are kicking and screaming and fighting Him away, He'll drag us back to where HE wants us to be. Because it's not about me, even though I like to make it that way. Hence, last nights blog... I made it about me.

Let me tell you, I make a crappy god. Others can tell you that too. I bring myself down, to the point of depression. Well, I am tired of being there. Last night I still wasn't letting go. I hold on to things. That gets me going in circles. Vicious circles. (Not like Dane Cook.) I'm tired of holding on to the past and trying to create what I think my walk should look like. 

So here I am. Giving God the keys to my life, yet again, and letting Him drive. Letting go. Of everything. I'm done with it. Done with the past. I know there is still consequences for the choices I've made, but I'm not going to hold on to what I've done. I cannot change that. Sometimes it comes to the point of feeling like you are going to give up to actually give up. Giving everything to God. Not be selective about what you "give", but just giving it all. Because I can't do this on my own.

I'm going to stop worrying so much about what I'm getting out of life, and start giving to others. Lost people need to be found, and found people need to grow. Two of my favorite (serious) quotes from camp. And also -- The truth doesn't require your approval for it to be the truth. So make that three of my favorite quotes. I know the feeling I had on the way home from Philly is what I want/need to be feeling. Serving others.

I apologize for my recent actions and my blog last night. Mulligan?

P.S. Hold Fast - MercyMe. Good song.

When everything else is gone.

When you get a chance, look up the lyrics to Dig by Incubus. Then you'll understand the title of this blog.

I know everything else isn't "gone", but sometimes it feels that way. Sure, I have the best friends anyone could really ask for, that are always by my side (the true ones) but when I am by myself, it's another story. I say you don't understand, but you probably do.

Regret. I have always said how I live life without regrets. Hello self-centered world. If I were to truly live without regret, it means I would live without repentance too. I regret, meaning if I could go back and change something, I would. But I still think everything happens for a reason and we can learn and move on from anything and everything. I regret a lot of things from my past though, and I'm sure before I die I'll regret more - but I'm going to try to not focus on those things. Pshhh, yeah. Right. =[

Music. Lately I've been going through iTunes listening to a bunch of music. I've missed it =[ Especially Brand New. I pretty much love all of their songs, but Seventy Times Seven is amazing. Because it's so true. Also been going through some old CD's too. Ones that had meaning, and still do, actually. Oh well. 

Mashed potatoes. That's been my brain for the past little bit. I don't know how to explain it. I'll be so tired, like I am right now -- but my mind won't turn off. I've lost the off switch or something. I hate being so tired. And this college thing... I don't know. I feel like I am having second thoughts about everything right now. Sure you'll say that I need CCC - but really? Really? I'm not so sure anymore. Then again, I don't know what I am sure of. I know I wanna get out of this rut so to speak. And I need help, I've got help.. but am I just pushing you away? Giving you reasons to throw in your towel and quit, or give up? I seem to have become a master mind at pushing people away.

Hmmm. Guess I'll quit my pity party now. Don't want pity though, just expressing myself. =]

How do you feel about regrets? Music? Mashed potatoes?

Comment if you'd like. I'd like it.

I did it!

I graduated. 

As of 10:19am on June 4th, 2008.

I'm now part of the Osceola High School Alumni!

I don't feel any different.

Partyyy was amazingly fun though!

(Thanks to all that came!)

College starts in 2 1/2 months.

Time for the "real world".

Or so they say...

It still hasn't hit me.

&& I still need thousands of dollars to appear. ;]

Sleeping Beauty

I wish I could sleep right now. My mind is racing, and won't slow down for anything.

Tonight was the last high school musical for me, and for a lot of us. It was sad watching it from the audience and not performing. That was somewhat my choice though. And the fact that I must work in order to live, but that's another story. I miss performing. Being on stage. The week of the show jitters. The first night worries. The last night joys. Being around all the drama kids. The drama geeks. The kids that have greatly impacted my life. Some of my closest friends.

Tonight was bittersweet. More of that is to come I suppose. There are NINE school days until graduation. 9 days. Thirteen years of schooling leading up to this one day. Crazy. Then college. I know I want to perform on the stage in college, but is that too far fetched? You might think it's corny, but theatre is one of my passions. I cannot leave it at the high school. Maybe I'll have to. I just don't know.

I think that is one of the most scary things about life. Not knowing. It is all in God's hands though. I feel like I am trying to follow His path for me with a blindfold on. I just don't know what is next. but no one really does. BUT, I know whatever it is, it's for His honor and glory. Always. That's my goal. And that, is the greatest comfort of all right now.

Embrace it.

Hopefully I will have an easier time getting to sleep now that my thoughts are out there. 

(Brain, turn off.. Please!)

P.S. Comment!

Heal Heels

October 14, 2007.

What were you doing that day? That afternoon? Do you remember? How about that night? Say, 2 a.m.?

Some of you were with me at the Aquatic Center. (I think that is what it's called?) Anyways, that is the day I decided I wanted to hurt my heels. Bad. Reallllly bad. Worse than anything I have ever done before. I wanted to go to the hospital it would be so bad. And I had a plan. I wanted to go down the big scary slide. Twice. The first time, I wanted everything to go normal, like all the other kids. The second time I wanted a BIG splash. I mean bigger than JJ splash (sorry JJ =])!!!

When I got towards the bottom of the slide I was gunna pick my feet up so I would glide across the water. Only that didn't happen. Since I was set out to hurt my heels, I slammed my feet down on the bottom of the pool. Ouch! That slide/pool/bottom of the pool left behind a legacy. It basically said, "You remember me forever!" And then it smashed my heels. (Thank you Dane Cook!)

Moral of the story: I will remember this for the rest of my life.

Maybe I am exaggerating a little (lot) bit, but almost seven months later and I am still experiencing the pain. Today it is worse than others. I guess it didn't help that I basically stopped using crutches a month after it happen, when I was told to use them 3 - 6 months. Walking around on my tip-toes only lasted for so long. And I don't like taking medicine. There's no one to blame but me, yet I still complain. But OUCH! 

Let there be a lesson learned. Quite a few actually. Let's start off with #1 - Lift your feet at the bottom of water slides. # 2 - Listen to doctors. # 3 - Humble yourself, and let others help you when they offer it. # 4 - __________ (fill in the blank!)

As a side note:

I downloaded a not-so-new song today and have listened to it a bunch of times. It is Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle. Beth's blog made me think of it. (She's in my roll o blogs!) I really thought about the lyrics. Some that stood out to me, (basically the whole song but,)....

To the cross I look.

To the cross I cling.

God is love. 

God is just.

At the cross You beckon me. You draw me gently to my knees, and I am lost for words, so lost 

in love, I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.

Wow. I really love songs like that, no matter how cliche you think they are. It really made me think.. about even just seeing a cross. Or even just wearing one around your neck. It's so much more that. It's about clinging to the cross. Clinging on to Him. Being so crazy lost in love that you have no idea what so say, or what to do. Not this "feeling" of love, but the action. What God did for us is love, but how do we love back? Some of us never do.

I like posting about randomness! I wanna know your thoughts, yes you, because other people always have an awesome way of conveying what I am thinking! Yay! So commentttt.

2 Peter 3!

2 Peter 3

Go read that. Now.

Randomly, I turned to that page in my bible. I know we have talked about that chapter recently, but it's amazing. Okay, the whole bible is amazing.. but still! I know all of you know this stuff I am blogging on already.. but I like typing my thoughts out. =]

Verse 8 -- My fantastical mind is still boggled at the fact that 2,000 years in only TWO DAYS to the Lord. Did you catch that? TWO DAYS!!!! That's like from today to Tuesday. Monday to Wednesday. I still cannot wrap my mind around that. 

Verse 9 -- But God is being patient with you. God is being patient with me? Are you kidding me? (Slap in the face.) I am one of the most impatient people in the world, and I think we all can be at some point in time, but God still is patient with us. Sigh of relief! Good thing. =D

Verse 6 -- I like reading backwards. Anyways, I thought of Sunday School! Yay, I was paying attention! Noah built an arkie-arkie. And the animals went in by twosies-twosies. (Thank you Beth and Kaeli!)

Verse 17 -- I always like to think, "Oh, this won't happen to me," about everything. As many times as I've read this lately (Be careful so you will not fall from your strong faith.), I realize that it can happen to me. It will. And it does. 

Looking back, which I try not to do very often, I can think of kids in the youth group when I first started going to FSCC that this has happened to, this falling away. I'm not judging anyone, so please don't take it that way. Some of them used to be close friends. I'm not saying that we (or I) have given up on them, but I see it happening to them. I can see myself very easily going down that same path. I know I do go down that same path. That happens to be "my path", to build up "my own kingdom', not God's. (Another slap in the face.)

I know that if it weren't for this close family of people I met a year and a halfish ago, I would still be going down my path. I wouldn't have people there to call me out when they notice I am more worried about my path rather than the Lord's. I am so thankful they are always there for me.

I am also thankful God is so patient. I know He never promised His path would be easy, and I think I like the challenge (in the long run at least.) Life would be dull if it was made out to be easy. 

Verse 18 --  Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the Glory. Note to self: Notice that doesn't say to Kaydee or Allah, or Budda, or anyone (or anything) else. And that it says grow in the grace and knowledge. We can continually grow, and shouldn't stop. I know I have thought I can put my "growing" on pause, and we shouldn't. I also know I have never experience as much growing as I did on Monday night on the missions trip, and I thought I could easily keep that fervor. You know as well as I do that it's not easy, so I don't know why I was crazy enough to think that.

Not so random of a thought: I am called into missions. I am not sure what that means exactly, but that's my calling. Monday night on the missions trip I realized this: Missions = Fervor.

I know this blog is random with a ton of random thoughts, but it gives you a lot to comment on! =] 

So do itttt.