I did it!

I graduated. 

As of 10:19am on June 4th, 2008.

I'm now part of the Osceola High School Alumni!

I don't feel any different.

Partyyy was amazingly fun though!

(Thanks to all that came!)

College starts in 2 1/2 months.

Time for the "real world".

Or so they say...

It still hasn't hit me.

&& I still need thousands of dollars to appear. ;]

Sleeping Beauty

I wish I could sleep right now. My mind is racing, and won't slow down for anything.

Tonight was the last high school musical for me, and for a lot of us. It was sad watching it from the audience and not performing. That was somewhat my choice though. And the fact that I must work in order to live, but that's another story. I miss performing. Being on stage. The week of the show jitters. The first night worries. The last night joys. Being around all the drama kids. The drama geeks. The kids that have greatly impacted my life. Some of my closest friends.

Tonight was bittersweet. More of that is to come I suppose. There are NINE school days until graduation. 9 days. Thirteen years of schooling leading up to this one day. Crazy. Then college. I know I want to perform on the stage in college, but is that too far fetched? You might think it's corny, but theatre is one of my passions. I cannot leave it at the high school. Maybe I'll have to. I just don't know.

I think that is one of the most scary things about life. Not knowing. It is all in God's hands though. I feel like I am trying to follow His path for me with a blindfold on. I just don't know what is next. but no one really does. BUT, I know whatever it is, it's for His honor and glory. Always. That's my goal. And that, is the greatest comfort of all right now.

Embrace it.

Hopefully I will have an easier time getting to sleep now that my thoughts are out there. 

(Brain, turn off.. Please!)

P.S. Comment!

Blabbering.

Insight into my life: Stressed out.

It's pretty crazy right now. I am running off of little to no sleep, and that definitely isn't helping. This past week is hella crazyyyy.

Saturday night was grad bash and didn't get home until 4:15 A.M.

Woke up for church on Sunday at 8:30 A.M. Ouch. Then I reallllly wanted to go to the beach, so I abducted Alyson and Brent for a couple of hours. After the beach I had to start on this psychology paper that took foreverrr. And a day.. 

I woke up late this morning and still hadn't completed my paper. I needed to do my reference page. APA style. Ahh, not cool man. After showing up late to class everyday, Mr. Fifteen Minutes pretty much hates me, but still took my paper because I had a note. Whatever. Blah. Then on to Drama class. Pretty much don't care about that class anymore. I got in trouble for eating my poptart in class. A poptart. My poptart. So I walked outside and finished eating it. =] What can I say?? I was hungry and I sure wasn't going to throw it away. Now to InDesign. Pretty much slacked off in there too. School is becoming harder and harder to go to, and hard and hard to care about. 

Then I am home for a few hours. I did 2 loads of Brent's and my laundry (which still needs to be folded) and squeezed in an hour nap. I finally got up at 3 to shower to be to work at 4. When I got out of the shower at 3:15, I had a bajillion missed calls, and voicemails, along with a zillion more texts. Wellllll maybe not thaaaaaaaaat many, but you get the picture. Work changed the schedule for me to come in at 3, instead of 4 and didn't tell me. Thanks a lot work. I finally get there and get remarks about how I'm late, which isn't my fault... but I won't even get started on that. So I start off my work day in a pretty crappy mood. It got better for a little while, then people have to get all immature and bent outta shape about a little "incident" and flip out. YAY! Whateverrrr, I know that he still really does care by the way he was acting. But, I'll just add work to the list of IDC =D

Now I am finally home and need to be getting some rest. It's my goal not to be late tomorrow, but you know how I am. The whole rest of this week is hella busy and more stressful. Joys, I can't wait. Thanks for putting up with my random blog of nothing entertaining, just complaints about dumbbbb things. Blah. You could still comment! =D Actually, I reallly want you to comment because I have no idea what you'd say to all this.

P.S. May 1st is college decision day. All paperwork is due then. That means I still need to get a physical. And fill out the paperwork. 

P.P.S. Plussss attend all of the musical rehearsals. And church. And work =[ I just want to be graduated already...

Those were the days.

Whenever I have time to take a nice, long nap, my fansatical mind decides to not shut off. Thanks a lot mind! While I was counting sheep, or dancing chickens (that was for you, Beth!) I started thinking and thinking and thinking. In less than five months, everything will change. I mean everything. Things change all the time, but I always knew going into my next year of school I would have my friends. But what about now....

It's not that I think I'll be friendless, or lose touch with everyone, because I won't. But -- I'm afraid of this change. College. Moving (even though I am not going that far.. others are). The future.

Honestly, I thought I would never make it to this point. Some of you might know where I am coming from, but I thought I would never even have to worry about this. I was at my brother's graduation and never thought in two years, I'd be exactly where he was. A sense of accomplishment, yet fear. Bittersweet.

I know there are still seven weeks of school left, plus all of summer. But what about after that. Most of my learning and growing have happened during the past 4 years with my more-than-words-can-convey-amazing friends. There are so many memories. I never want to lose those. I never want to lose them. I know some of us will slowly drift away, that always happens. I don't want it to though! I am sad just sitting here and thinking about it. Every day that passes, it hits me harder and harder in the face. 

It's crazy to think how much has changed in four years, and why I am so scared for this change?All of us are going to different colleges. Why can't we pick them up and merge them all together? I guess that'd be too easy. 

And what about youth group. I say we extend the age limit. I know we can't, but pleeeeease? On Thursday night in Philly this whole sense of change finally hit me. This was the last trip for all of us to be together. There still is camp, but that's not the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm not downing camp.. but it's different. All the talks, the memories.. just become a grain of sand in the past. 

I love my friends. Some have become family. I thank God that He put them in my life. To hold me accountable. To laugh with. Cry with. Do stupid things with. I have learned so much from them. I'm grateful they never gave up on me. They are truly some of the most amazing people I have met.

I look forward to the future and what God has in store for me, but I'm still worried. Sad. Confused. Excited. Nervous. Thankful. Most of all, joyful. 

"Give all your worries to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will never let good people down." Psalm 55:22