Whenever I have time to take a nice, long nap, my fansatical mind decides to not shut off. Thanks a lot mind! While I was counting sheep, or dancing chickens (that was for you, Beth!) I started thinking and thinking and thinking. In less than five months, everything will change. I mean everything. Things change all the time, but I always knew going into my next year of school I would have my friends. But what about now....
It's not that I think I'll be friendless, or lose touch with everyone, because I won't. But -- I'm afraid of this change. College. Moving (even though I am not going that far.. others are). The future.
Honestly, I thought I would never make it to this point. Some of you might know where I am coming from, but I thought I would never even have to worry about this. I was at my brother's graduation and never thought in two years, I'd be exactly where he was. A sense of accomplishment, yet fear. Bittersweet.
I know there are still seven weeks of school left, plus all of summer. But what about after that. Most of my learning and growing have happened during the past 4 years with my more-than-words-can-convey-amazing friends. There are so many memories. I never want to lose those. I never want to lose them. I know some of us will slowly drift away, that always happens. I don't want it to though! I am sad just sitting here and thinking about it. Every day that passes, it hits me harder and harder in the face.
It's crazy to think how much has changed in four years, and why I am so scared for this change?All of us are going to different colleges. Why can't we pick them up and merge them all together? I guess that'd be too easy.
And what about youth group. I say we extend the age limit. I know we can't, but pleeeeease? On Thursday night in Philly this whole sense of change finally hit me. This was the last trip for all of us to be together. There still is camp, but that's not the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm not downing camp.. but it's different. All the talks, the memories.. just become a grain of sand in the past.
I love my friends. Some have become family. I thank God that He put them in my life. To hold me accountable. To laugh with. Cry with. Do stupid things with. I have learned so much from them. I'm grateful they never gave up on me. They are truly some of the most amazing people I have met.
I look forward to the future and what God has in store for me, but I'm still worried. Sad. Confused. Excited. Nervous. Thankful. Most of all, joyful.
"Give all your worries to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will never let good people down." Psalm 55:22
6 comments:
bah....i cant believe its all ending...we've become sisters over the past four years and i cant believe that in 5 short months u wont be 3 minutes away when i call...ull b 5 hours away....ill always be there and i dont want us to ever stop talking...and we must always get our prink doughnuts with spankles on 4-20 lol...ugh this stinks...i never thought this would come and now its comming and i really dont want to think about it because i cry every time. i love you
~Tori
kaydee!!!!!!!!!!!
first of all, i only have 2 weeks left....thats scary.
i've been thinking a lot about this too..and it is sad. i dont wanna leave everything behind, but God made change for a reason, and we will still be close! i will miss you very much, and im gonna visit a lot. i promise! dont lose touch! i love you twin!
Wow--
And I agree, it all began to hit us on the trip. My bad on that one. Kinda.
No one ever likes change (well okay some of us like change, but the process can stretch us), but inevitably, we love the outcome of change. This is one of those things.
For sure, these are times to reminisce and think of the past, but not for too long. There's still time to seize. There's still memories to make.
I agree with John Pask: "this year's gonna be harder..."
KD,
It just amazes me to think that one year ago, almost to the day, I was in your shoes, thinking the EXACT same things. And the news and advice that I have it bitter sweet. Because it isn't easy. Quit the opposite actually. But it is rewarding. No, you will never be in high school ever again. Friends will move away and you will loose track, even the some of the ones that you called "best friends." The memories you have will become well, just memories.You'll change too. You'll meet new people. It's all part of the whole change thing. It's scary. Really scary. But it's life. And you will get through it. And it'll be BETTER than high school. I know. Hard to belive, right. But it is true.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
-Jeremiah 29:11
He will guide your steps. It's going to take a whole lot of faith and trust on your part. Be it'll be hard but it will be good! Good luck! I can't wait to have more girls in the college group! =]
Giselman<3.
wow that made me tear up and it is really getting to me cause even though i have not been hanging out with you guys in the last few months you guys were ther for me in some of the hardest most challenging times and you never once left my side you would come no matter whatand it is going to be really weird to not see all of you guys when that is all i have known as friends mostly over the last two years.you guys just took me in even though i was a little older, you mademe feel like i was needed for something even if i was the grandma as alyson used to tell me. well i could say a lot of other things but i dont want to write to much. i love u guys and u r my sisters and kd u are the best best friend i have had through everything u were there no matter what so thank and i love u i agape u
I've been thinking the same thing just recently actually. I've been wanting this time to come all year because i personaly want away from some of the kids i've gone to school with for the past 13 years. But i don't at the same time. It's gonna be so weird. But the change will be good and God knows what hes doing so we just gotta trust him.
Lynnsey.
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