Those were the days.

Whenever I have time to take a nice, long nap, my fansatical mind decides to not shut off. Thanks a lot mind! While I was counting sheep, or dancing chickens (that was for you, Beth!) I started thinking and thinking and thinking. In less than five months, everything will change. I mean everything. Things change all the time, but I always knew going into my next year of school I would have my friends. But what about now....

It's not that I think I'll be friendless, or lose touch with everyone, because I won't. But -- I'm afraid of this change. College. Moving (even though I am not going that far.. others are). The future.

Honestly, I thought I would never make it to this point. Some of you might know where I am coming from, but I thought I would never even have to worry about this. I was at my brother's graduation and never thought in two years, I'd be exactly where he was. A sense of accomplishment, yet fear. Bittersweet.

I know there are still seven weeks of school left, plus all of summer. But what about after that. Most of my learning and growing have happened during the past 4 years with my more-than-words-can-convey-amazing friends. There are so many memories. I never want to lose those. I never want to lose them. I know some of us will slowly drift away, that always happens. I don't want it to though! I am sad just sitting here and thinking about it. Every day that passes, it hits me harder and harder in the face. 

It's crazy to think how much has changed in four years, and why I am so scared for this change?All of us are going to different colleges. Why can't we pick them up and merge them all together? I guess that'd be too easy. 

And what about youth group. I say we extend the age limit. I know we can't, but pleeeeease? On Thursday night in Philly this whole sense of change finally hit me. This was the last trip for all of us to be together. There still is camp, but that's not the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm not downing camp.. but it's different. All the talks, the memories.. just become a grain of sand in the past. 

I love my friends. Some have become family. I thank God that He put them in my life. To hold me accountable. To laugh with. Cry with. Do stupid things with. I have learned so much from them. I'm grateful they never gave up on me. They are truly some of the most amazing people I have met.

I look forward to the future and what God has in store for me, but I'm still worried. Sad. Confused. Excited. Nervous. Thankful. Most of all, joyful. 

"Give all your worries to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will never let good people down." Psalm 55:22

Rambling.

Apparently blogging is becoming the new "in" thing. Like Jessica said, it reminds me of the days before MySpace. Reminds me of Xanga!

Anyways... ramble!

I am one of the ones having a tough week. Not so much a tough week, just a crappy Tuesday that bled over to Wednesday. Overall though, I need to realize things aren't about myself, and my bad couple of days, and really focus on the fact we are leaving for Philly in 53(ish) hours. There is no way I can go into this missions trip the way I am right now. I can honestly say that. We all have blah days but I am sure there are people any and everywhere going through worse. I don't have the right to compromise people in Philly I could reach out too because things don't go as I planned for me. I guess the only thing I can say is.. I am working on it. It is not too often you'll hear (or read) me admit these kinds of things. Don't get me wrong though.. I am not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I am jut sorta using this blogging spot as a way to express myself. 

I hope that most everyone reading this will comment. It doesn't have to be about the blog, but just comment in general. It'll help to get my brain going for other ideas to type about! =]